how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
pray to the hookup gods
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
