some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
