Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
