so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
