.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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