New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
