i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
