i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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