1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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