i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
