Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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