Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
