you guys were way drunker than both of me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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