You're completely useless in the revolution.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
