It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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