i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
