i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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