I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I did not marry a roomba.
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