I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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