Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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