we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
