We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
