I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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