I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
