I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
