It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
