She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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