Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
