i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
