my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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