Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
