that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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