Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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