dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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