new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
