Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
