im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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