Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
