I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
