it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
