Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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