Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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