guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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