Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
