her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
