hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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