Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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