so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
