it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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