that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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