I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
