dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
